Full Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

The serenity prayer is one the most beautiful prayers from the Christian tradition. It offers much solace and wisdom. Most people are familiar with the first part, though only a few know the entire prayer, which was an untitled prayer written by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1930s.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever
in the next.

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Balance "Secret Principles" with Compassion

“The Secret” reinforces an important message of taking inventory of our thoughts and focusing them in a positive direction to create life changes that we desire. This is a wonderful message, yet without critical examination and thoughtful application, the ideas can prove unskillful in our interactions with individuals who suffer.

The idea that we attract everything through our thoughts is on the one hand a powerful message. However, it can also be a dangerous message when taken to an extreme perspective. We can end up blaming victims for their plight, such as: Individuals in poverty, survivors of disasters, the disabled or the abused.

I believe that at critical moments such as with Hurricane Katrina or with the Indian Ocean Tsunami of 2004, our desire to alleviate suffering is most important. The extreme perspective can also assign wrongful thinking for causing diseases or illnesses. I feel uncomfortable when positive thinking is taken this far because it can allow us to become distant from another person’s need or suffering, since we can at some level just say, “Well, they must have brought this upon themselves.”

If taken to an extreme this perspective of our thoughts alone ultimately influencing the universe can approach arrogance. Certainly our thoughts, intentions and our ability to select our reaction to events are powerful tools for personal transformation, yet this message needs to be balanced with humility and compassion. Thoughts play an important role, yet at times our response needs to come from the heart not the head..

At a human level, we need to balance our positive thinking attitudes with compassion for ourselves and others. When individuals are in need, our hearts need to respond to them with empathy, care and understanding. If our positive thoughts disconnect us from compassion, then even if we succeed at an individual level, we may fail at a social level – we may achieve material success but lose our “soul” in the process.

When we approach positive thinking or “the law of attraction” with a mechanical attitude, then we risk limiting our growth to self-interest rather than growing in our compassion. From a higher perspective, we know that spiritual growth starts within our hearts and is not limited to our thoughts alone. The mind and heart work in harmony in order to create a life that is fulfilling at all levels.

In “NEXUS: A Neo Novel” our focus has been on personal transformation  of people who in one way or another are stuck. Through the journey of people in our book, we discover many insights to expand both our mind and our heart – to develop a positive mind along with a compassionate heart.

Peace & blessings,
Arvind Singh
Co-author of Nexus

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Dalai Lama on Compassion

Compassion forms the primary message contained in the pages of Nexus, where through empathy and genuine feeling of oneness with others, transcendence from ego-centeredness is possible. Then compassion and genuine love can be enshrined within.

The following excerpts by the Dalai Lama shed practical wisdom on bringing compassion into our daily lives:

Where Compassion Starts

“Compassion is the wish for another being to be free from suffering; love is wanting them to have happiness. “

“The next matter to be understood is whether it is possible to enhance compassion and love. In other words, is there a means by which these qualities of mind can be increased, and anger, hatred, and jealousy reduced? My answer to this is an emphatic, Yes! Even if you do not agree with me right now, let yourself be open to the possibility of such development. Let us carry out some experiments together; perhaps we may then find some answers.”

“For a start, it is possible to divide every kind of happiness and suffering into two main categories: mental and physical. Of the two, it is the mind that exerts the greatest influence on most of us. Unless we are either gravely ill or deprived of basic necessities, our physical condition plays a secondary role in life. If the body is content, we virtually ignore it. The mind, however, registers every event, no matter how small. Hence we should devote our most serious efforts to bringing about mental peace rather than physical comfort.”

Transforming the Mind

“From my own limited experience, I am convinced that through constant training we can indeed develop our minds. Our positive attitudes, thoughts, and outlook can be enhanced, and their negative counterparts can be reduced. Even a single moment of consciousness depends on so many factors, and when we change these various factors, the mind also changes. This is a simple truth about the nature of mind. “

Developing Compassion

“Self-centeredness inhibits our love for others, and we are all afflicted by it to one degree or another. For true happiness to come about, we need a calm mind, and such peace of mind is brought about only by a compassionate attitude.”

“Many forms of compassionate feeling are mixed with desire and attachment. For instance, the love parents feel for their child is often strongly associated with their own emotional needs, so it is not fully compassionate. Usually when we are concerned about a close friend, we call this compassion, but it too is usually attachment. Even in marriage, the love between husband and wife…depends more on attachment than genuine love. Marriages that last only a short time do so because they lack compassion; they are produced by emotional attachment based on projection and expectation, and as soon as the projections change, the attachment disappears.”

“Compassion without attachment is possible. Therefore, we need to clarify the distinctions between compassion and attachment. True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Because of this firm foundation, a truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively. Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, but rather on the needs of the other.”

“When you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others; you wish to help them actively overcome their problems. This wish is not selective; it applies equally to all beings. As long as they experience pleasure and pain just as you do, there is no logical basis to discriminate between them or to alter your concern for them if they behave negatively.”

“Given patience and time, it is within our power to develop this kind of universal compassion. Of course our self-centeredness, our distinctive attachment to the feeling of a solid I, works fundamentally to inhibit our compassion. Indeed, true compassion can be experienced only when this type of self-grasping is eliminated. But this does not mean that we cannot start to cultivate compassion and begin to make progress right away.”

Our Connectedness & Universal Compassion

“I believe that at every level of societyfamilial, national and internationalthe key to a happier and more successful world is the growth of compassion. We do not need to become religious, nor do we need to believe in a particular ideology. All that is necessary is for each of us to develop our good human qualities. I believe that the cultivation of individual happiness can contribute in a profound and effective way to the overall improvement of the entire human community.”

“We all share an identical need for love, and on the basis of this commonality, it is possible to feel that anybody we meet, in whatever circumstances, is a brother or sister. No matter how new the face or how different the dress or behavior, there is no significant division between us and other people. It is foolish to dwell on external differences because our basic natures are the same.”

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Non Violence

The ‘fragmented self’ is an inner state of being that is disconnected from the awareness of higher guidance/inner voice and peace. Without awareness of higher guidance and peace a person may resort to various forms of violence as a means to achieve a certain goal. Gandhi maintains that there are five forms of violence, these being physical, mental, subtle, structural, and spiritual.

Gandhi conceives of non-violence as an “action based on the refusal to harm deliberately.” There is no rigid system advocated by the process of non-violence, but rather a spontaneous responsiveness to higher guidance/inner voice while maintaining love and freedom.

Non-violence is a real, powerful and positive force able to lead humanity toward more noble visions of life. To live a non-violent life one must first discover inner peace.
As a seeker of non-violence always make an inward jouney into your own consciousness and then live your life as contemplation in action. Still your mind and take an inner journey that will enable you to hear higher guidance/still small voice and live your life with compassion.

In our novel “Nexus” you will discover some characters who live with great compassion and also a contrast of some characters who are violent either toward themselves or others. Physical, mental, subtle, structural, and spiritual aspects of violence are present to various degrees in our novel. Some characters experience great inner struggle, however it is most interesting to observe their varied attempts at discovering peace.

Will our main character Logan find the peace that he is looking for? Well, you will have to read “Nexus” to find out.

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Connectedness/Nexus

The title of our novel “Nexus” means connectedness/centre, so this theme is central to what our book is about…

In our story Logan (the main character) is experiencing a deep state of despair in his life, even though he is very successful in his career. He wonders about his unbearable inner feelings, and he doesn’t know the source of his inner struggles and what will really work to resolve his problem.

As events unfold Logan receives higher guidance in a dream, together with confirmation about the importance of this dream in a real life experience. Thereby Logan is guided toward taking his next step and making some changes in his life. This type of higher guidance experience can only happen by means of our inherent connectedness with one another, and with the Divine.

Other examples of connectedness can be seen in the study of interconnectedness in physics.

For example twin sea-turtle eggs separated and placed in labs thousands of miles apart can hatch at the same instant.

Another example is acres of jellyfish pulsating in perfect rhythm as if of a single mind.

This demonstrates that there are invisible lines of connection/communication everywhere.

Similarly, in our novel “Nexus” a remarkable solution to Logan’s seemingly impossible problem occurs. In a moment of clarity Logan realizes the ‘connection’ between a direct life experience he has and a vision he saw in a dream. This experience strikes a chord deep in his heart. He decides to follow the revealed higher guidance. His psycho-spiritual adventure begins, and this motion in his life moves him toward the solution of his seemingly impossible problem.

The flow of Logan’s experiences are an example of ‘interconnectedness’ at play.

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Soul

To find out our Soul begins with a basic question, “Who am I?” How do you define yourself?

Is it by a name you were given? By your nationality, ethnicity or religion, which is often the result of where you were born?

Do you view yourself as young or old? Tall or short? Thin or fat? Many of these characteristics are relative and depend on comparison with another person to be meaningful.

How about your emotions and behaviours? Do you define yourself as sad, happy, caring or a selfish person? Or by some other characteristics?

What about your thoughts? Do you consider yourself intelligent, simple practical or impractical? Or maybe you subscribe to certain political views, so you might label yourself liberal or conservative. Yet none of these are truly you because they are conditionally real. They are not permanent aspect of your being.

Once we go beyond all the various labels you start uncovering your true nature, which is often described as peeling the layers of an onion.

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An Intro to Equanimity

Equanimity like compassion is achieved after we remove hurt, pain and anger. These emotions are associated with ego identification with externals labels instead of understanding your true worth. We cannot gain or lose that worth by anything outside us. When we connected to our true nature, mental peace or equanimity is uncovered as our essential quality hidden behind the “I-making,” “my-making” qualities of the ego, which creates a self-limited perception of reality.

This category will contain passages from NEXUS dealing with equanimity. Your questions and responses will help us explore this topic.

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