Even with the snow falling around him, Logan felt warm inside with the knowledge that he would soon see his Sarah. He could finally unburden, for Sarah would heal him with each kiss, each touch.
Logan arrived in Putney in a rented car battling the blowing snow and ice along the way.
As he pulled up to Sarahs house, he noticed the curtains were drawn but there was a dim light on upstairs.
He rang the doorbell, wondering what he would say to her first. He wanted to explain to her about the agony he went through and how he was lost without her.
The door suddenly opened and Sarah stood there surprised and puzzled. Logan? What are you doing here?
It was not the warm greeting that he expected. Well, he replied, I came to see you, Sarah.
A strong, male voice spoke from inside the home: Who is it, honey? Is it someone for me?
No, Kurt, its an old friend who was just passing through, she answered turning her back to Logan. She then looks at him with a serious, aggrieved look and declares with a solemn tone: Logan a lot has changed over the past year and I couldnt wait any longer. I didnt know how you felt I had to move on I hope you understand.
She waited briefly for a response but hearing none, then tersely added: I must go now. With those words, she shut the door on Logan. He continued to stand outside for a couple of minutes, completely perplexed and hurt.
As a gust of air made the snow swirl around him with a terrific howl, he resolved to leave. He wanted to walk away with a shred of dignity.
Logans heart sank. All of his dreams of the warm meeting with Sarah were brutally dashed, for Sarah was no longer his. What a cruel twist of fate, he thought bitterly.
Logan had pulled the ring out of his pocket. His hurt turned into rage as he threw it away like a cursed object. It flew through the air, and fell on a rock, making a ting sound.
As he pulled out of the driveway, he had looked back at the house in misery. He realized he just wanted to get away from Putney and get back to San Francisco. He had decided to take the job as a reporter, and never come back to his hometown so long as Sarah was not his.
The work had kept him busy, so that he could suppress his sense of loneliness, sorrow and anguish. Unlike his father, he couldnt drown himself in booze. But work provided a good substitute, a welcome distraction from emotional pain.
Everything went reasonably well, or seemed to, and he continued to overlook his emotional state until despair set in with a vengeance. The feeling was overwhelming and took full control of him, battering his ability to fight, his will to live. He wanted nothing more than to end his misery by ending his life. He began contemplating suicide and decided to take this course of action. Finally, he ended up in the hospital from a failed suicide attempt after overdosing on sleeping pills.
Excerpt from Nexus: A Neo Novel. Buy from: