He will speak on marriage as a “spiritual partnership” instead of a traditional marriage or relationship modelled around survival needs, where a couple are emotionally distant but work together to achieve survival goals in life.
“The energy dynamic itself is very different in a traditional marriage than it is in a spiritual partnership,” Gary says. The spiritual partnership requires people to work together for “something more” unlike a traditional marriage which doesn’t have this dynamic.
“In practical terms, we’re talking about getting to know yourself—getting to know what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what you’re intending, what your fears are, and what your loves are,” Gary says. “That is, what it means while you’re walking on the earth.”
The idea of another person, a soul mate, who “completes” you is considered a myth by Gary. He adds: “”Only you can complete yourself. No one can complete you for you.”
The expectation that someone else can complete you will after the honeymoon phase lead to disappointment, since your expectations of the other person were unreasonable. Instead of appreciating another person for who they are and realizing your own capacity for love and self-discovery, your sense of self becomes dependent on a romanticized ideal of your partner.
A spiritual partnership is more than just creating material comfort for one another, it is about spiritual growth. “It means that your intention is to become aware and responsible for yourself,” Gary says.
According to Gary, spiritual partnerships have four main requirements—commitment, compassion, courage and conscious communication.